The True Meaning of Easter

...is sweets plus arts and crafts. Or so it would seem if one observed my behavior today, the day before the day.

Here is one of the latest additions to our family here at the Jenkins house.

Not all of his brothers and sisters were ready to greet the world.

Another new resident of my parents' house.

The arts-and-crafts portion features eggs made from a tie-dye egg kit. Among some sweet rocks.

And perhaps my favorite part of the day, thanks to Real Simple magazine. Check it: gumdrops, smashed thin with a spatch, cut in half and rolled into roses or cut into leaves. Tip: use lots of sugar as you'd use flour in kneading bread, because when you roll them out, you expose a much stickier side of the 'drop.

In short, I feel very accomplished today! How fun.

I'm glad I decided to blog for Lent, and exceedingly glad it's about over. While many of the posts have not been as theological and Lent-y as I'd envisioned, it's been a helpful and thought-provoking exercise. Thank you so much, everyone, for reading and supporting this and so many other projects. I'll be posting regularly, just not holding myself to doing it every day. Expect lots of links, which I've been looking forward to sharing after Lent.

Have a great Easter tomorrow, everyone. What a joyful occasion! Celebrate renewal, redemption, love, and faith.

The Little Things

Sometimes, I really don't like my job. You may have picked up on this from the blog, and you almost certainly have if you spend time with me in person (or on the phone like my patient and understanding mother). For instance, today, I left home at 7:45 a.m. to make it to a primary school music program at 9. This was not something I was asked directly to do by my supervisor, but the news is so slow that I need to do such things in order to have items in the paper each week (I accidentally typed, "I need to do suck things...." Like many typos, pretty apt). I realize it could be monumentally worse. I have a job, it pays a living wage, and it's not physical labor, to start with. Also, it is in the field I'm trained for. There are many advantages. Trying to make a news story out of five songs sung by first-graders is not one of them. So I get pretty crabby about it on occasion. But then something like this happens. I get to look at the old papers every few weeks to write the "This Week in History" column, which is one of the perks. Not so much writing it as spending time with bound copies of papers from 1981, 1991, and 2001, seeing pictures of the police chiefs and mayors when they were younger, studying the ads. Last time I did this, I got an extra special treat. Here it is. Now doesn't everything feel just a little bit better? It's amazing what a tiny thing can do for one's mood. Lent mode engage! Think of how you can be that tiny thing for someone. A smile, a compliment, picking up a dropped item, can work wonders, especially from a stranger. What a beautiful opportunity. Or you could cut your hair like this guy and seriously be a public servant.

I'm headed to Austin in a few hours until Saturday. After that, I will probably be able to make a quick decision about where I'm going. Hint: probably Union in Richmond, unless something unexpected happens in Austin. I've realized that as independent and world-traveling as I am and want to be, I don't want to have to take a plane or drive for days to see my family or many of my friends. Or eat at Flaming Amy's. Many other factors are also making Richmond edge ahead. Anyway, expect some sort of official announcement soonish. I may even break out the big fonts if I can figure out how.

Give and Take

Unfortunately, spending time and energy on something means you won't have as much for something else. This means we have to make choices. If I read or go for a run in the morning instead of getting right to work, I will pay for it in the afternoon by being rushed and probably a little angry. If I work first in the morning, I often end up working all day anyway and don't have time for some other good thing. This usually makes me feel defeated, like I can't win or get it right.

The trick, not that I've mastered it or even begun to practice, is to give loving attention to the task at hand no matter what it is. "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men," says Colossians 3:23. Many translations say to do it "heartily." I like this idea. It sort of says, not that work makes up for time with God or can take the place of it, but that you can turn anything into a God-glorifying activity. Almost anything. This is what I would like to work on, and lately really need to.

Lenten Devotion

There's a problem with this scheme that I didn't foresee. I pledged to blog every day, which I have for the most part. But it turns out I don't have the urge to blog every day. While I have plenty to share, recountings and observations that are fine in ordinary time seem a little limp when the blog is supposed to be all spiritual and Lent-y. I've just put off writing this post in no less than four ways.

But this is not a loss. It's a lesson. Devotion, as I've said in different words before, means you do something not because you always want to. You do it because you promised to do it, because it shapes you, because it is an expression of something important. Everything I've heard about marriage says you can't expect to feel those sparks of love and lust all the time, but you can't get a divorce every time you feel annoyed with your spouse. Likewise, I come to this blog because it's a place for my reflections on Lent, not because I woke up this morning thinking, "Ooh, let's blog!" So here I am, in spite of my own wishes, wrapping up quickly so I can find those online jigsaw puzzles, but here and happy to be writing.

Quel Jour

The language of the title is in honor of Peter Mayle's Encore Provence, which, read by an Englishman on a CD played in my car, helped keep this day from being a completely wretched loss.

Let's see.

-My boss has zero communication skills, at least via email. This can not be a problem for weeks or months at a time, but now we have started a new project--webcasts!--which requires much more communication than usual. The webcasts are fun, but I literally never know whether I am doing the right thing when I'm writing the scripts and doing the related work.
-I was going to renew and return some library items but ran too late in the morning.
-I drove an hour to my first assignment, an hour to do the webcast, and an hour back to the same place where the first one was! Then an hour home. Again, thank you, Peter Mayle, and the lovely English audiobook reader.
-I had a splitting headache today, which I never have, and was very tired after my delicious weekend and an early jog. I really needed caffeine and was looking forward to checking out a new-to-me coffee shop. Closed on Mondays.
-I went to McDonald's to get coffee instead, but Boss called while I was in the parking lot, so I had to go to the library instead and write the script for tomorrow's webcast.
-You know, the public library, where I loiter with my computer because I don't have an office, and where a baby was crying.
-I had been going to read my Bible while drinking the coffee, and I never got to. ("Had been going to"? Is this OK?)
-When I called the number I found online for the library (the other library, the one where I live, which is SO FAR AWAY from where I work), it had been disconnected or something. Double bad: I now have a fine, and I cannot stand misinformation of that sort on the internet or elsewhere.
-When I finally got to McD's and took my ibuprofen with a sip of iced coffee, the straw was so big that I may have lost a pill in the drink. I then drank it really fast so as to finish before the pill dissolved and made that awful taste. I may have taken the pill just fine, but the possibility was pretty upsetting.
-Mom texted me that Dad was going into the hospital for a skin infection. I got it just before the evening meeting I covered, so I couldn't call for details, and I was distracted for much of the meeting by the possibilities. (The text (and the fact that it was a text and not a call) made it clear that I didn't need to come home or anything, it was for my information. I don't want you to think I got that news and callously went ahead to the meeting.)

But I'm not saying this just to complain. Partly to complain, yes, but also to tell you this: (Lent mode engage!)

I had a lot of plans for today, and most of them did not happen. This is the case on many days, but today it was pretty piled on. Missing my Bible-reading time was especially bad because I needed it more than usual.

On the retreat this weekend, after that long night of Apples to Apples, I knelt by my bed for a few minutes and whispered my prayers. I found that this worked well because the kneeling and whispering kept me focused. If I'm forming the words with my lips, I'm much less likely to find myself on a whole new topic than when I just pray in my head. I'm not a great pray-er, partly because I'm like, "If God knows everything, why do I need to tell Him stuff?" partly because it doesn't feel like an accomplishment, and probably for several other reasons. So it's always nice to find something that works, and I decided to try the out-loud/whisper thing regularly.

In the car tonight, on the way home from the meeting, I called Mom and had to leave a message. Anxious and antsy, I turned off Mr. Mayle's book and started to pray out loud. I felt better almost immediately.

Yes, it would have been great to do my Bible reading, but what a blessing to know that we can reach God, and He can reach us, even when our plans for doing so are foiled. It's good to have those plans, in fact it's crucial to arrange time and mental space for Him, but we also have to be open to God in other ways and times and places. If we insist that music or reading or a certain type of prayer or some other specific thing is the only way we communicate with God, we shut off a whole wing of our life with Him. So, listen for Him all the time, and try speaking to Him in new ways.

Mom called as I was praying. She and Dad had been going to urgent care since Friday morning, and he's been taking different forms of antibiotics. When the doctor there said today that IV antibiotics were next, they both said, "Yes, yes, we want that." They are ready to kick this thing. So, apparently, it's a good thing that he's in the hospital? Better, she said, than being at home and wondering whether he's improving. They both sounded pretty upbeat. Also, her iPad arrived today (I didn't even know they'd ordered it), and we talked about my coming there at Easter and how I'm going to make Rice Krispie treats and put them in greased plastic eggs and make a hollow in the middle and put candy in the hollow and take them out of the plastic eggs and put the halves together and it's going to be the best Easter snack ever. (I was about to put "best Easter thing ever." But that would be the original event. Good save, Jenkins.) So, I'm feeling a lot better than I did two hours ago. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Spoiler Alert

I watched last week's The Office online last night, and wow, what a great thing. Just when it gets too awkward or I start not caring about it, they come up with something fabuloso. Warning: if you haven't seen it yet and don't want to know what happens, stop reading now! Tune in for tomorrow's post, but skip this one!

So Michael asks Holly to marry him. At first, he wants to spell out the question in gasoline in the parking lot and light it on fire, but Pam catches him and calls a meeting to come up with a safe, reasonable proposal. In the end, Michael takes Holly on a tour of the office, telling her what happened in each spot: "I first saw you through these blinds," "This is where we first kissed," that kind of thing. Then he tells her the next part is going to be the biggest challenge to their relationship and goes through one set of doors, I think to the annex, and there's everyone from the office standing in two rows with a path between them, each holding a candle. "Will you marry me?" asks Phyllis. "No," says Holly. "Will you marry me?" asks Stanley. "No," says Holly, and so on as Holly and Michael walk down the line.

They go through another set of doors into Holly's office, which is full of candles. Michael goes down on one knee, and Holly kneels as well. He pulls out the ring, which is gigantic because he thought three years' salary was standard. He asks her to marry him in Yoda-talk, and she responds in kind. The sprinklers go off because of the candles, and they kiss in the "rain."

Here's a vid:

I'm sorry it's kinda cut off on the side. Here's the link in case you'd rather see it the regular way.

I'm not just sharing this because I'm obsessed with The Office. There's a lesson. God is always leading us through a gauntlet of competing loyalties. There are always people, or ideas, or groups, or other forces on either side of us asking us to commit to them, to love them, to follow them with our hearts and act accordingly. But we can't say yes to all of them, and if we want to be with God, we can't say yes to any of them. Even if you're not following God, you can think the same way about whatever it is you do commit to--your writing, art, studies, family, friends, sport, business. There will be challenges to your single-mindedness. Your role is to limit your yeses and choose them wisely. I believe strongly in the power of "yes" and the need to say it more often, but when it comes to the big questions, we have to be cautious sometimes. Otherwise, we will be drawn and quartered, pulled in opposite directions until we're torn apart. Committing to only one thing can keep us whole and healthy, moving in one direction to the delight of all.

Devotion and Temptation

We learned in church today about temptation and how it is universal. Everyone, absolutely everyone, deals with temptation in some form.

This afternoon, I was reading about spiritual practices and considering the importance of regularity and repetition, carving out part of one's day and life to do whatever works: prayer, meditation, yoga, reading, the things that get us in tune and calmed down.

I've been intermittently following a plan on which Alton Brown lost fifty pounds. There are six things you have to eat every day, five at least three times a week, four to limit to once a week, and four to cut out entirely. The plan has worked well for me, especially when I follow it closely (imagine!).

So: Temptation is everywhere. Discipline, which I think of in this context as self-denial, is a good way to combat it in the short term, in essence saying, "I'm just not gonna." But devotion, which in this context to me means replacing the bad thing with one or more good things and focusing on that instead, is going to get you a lot further and be a lot more fun. The Alton Brown concept is that if you fill your menu, stomach, and mind with fruit, whole grains, nuts, leafy greens, carrots, and green tea, you won't have as much time and space to get distracted by the darling cupcakes, the crispy fries, the caramel, and all of their backstabbing friends. I believe this carries over to faith. If you focus on doing the right thing instead of assiduously avoiding the wrong thing, you will probably wake up one morning and realize you haven't been craving the vice quite so badly. And in the meantime, you have done something great for yourself, God, and the world.

This is the principle behind devotions, which I take to mean anything you do intentionally on a daily basis. You do it because you're devoted, not because you jump out of bed dying to do it each and every single day. I don't have any strong feelings either way about carrots. Sometimes, I get completely sick of them and even of the peanut butter I eat them with. But, for days or weeks at a time, I will eat a carrot a day, because I know it makes me that much less likely to binge on junk. Likewise, if you read a text that feeds your faith, or pray, or stretch, or do something else that's healthy and draws you toward God, those practices will occupy you for so many minutes, and during those minutes at the very least, you can't yield to the myriad temptations that face you.

John Revisited

It took me until a couple months ago to realize what John the Baptist means when he quotes Isaiah talking about preparing the way of the Lord. Every mountain and hill shall be made low, he says, and every valley be raised up. Every crooked path shall be made straight. For years, I liked the image but didn't get why this needed to happen. "That's not very nice to the mountains and valleys," I thought, having been raised in an age and a home where we respect differences and diversity. What a boring world it would be if everything were flat and every line straight! When did homogeneity become the goal?

But this Advent, when we read that kind of thing a lot, it struck me that it's not about sameness. It's about ease of travel. We lower the mountains and raise the valleys in order to open up paths for God's presence and work. We straighten the paths to make his way clear and simple. We have to create a world, or at least a life, where God's movement is unhindered. I know my heart is full of jagged mountains, and sometimes it seems like they will never smooth out. We all have things that make it harder than necessary for God to move in us. Lent is a good time to identify those and seek clarity on how to move them out of the way and eventually eliminate them altogether.