Movies & Me

During summer language school, the absence of one or two people can make a big difference. We had two people go out of town and several others occupied with out-of-town guests, so this weekend has been pretty laid back. Add the fact that we have no Hebrew class Monday or Tuesday, and you have a recipe for one of those aimless Saturdays in which the to-do list goes out the window. I went to a matinee of Friends with Benefits at lunchtime with friends, then I was going to Wal-Mart and one of them wanted to go with me. Listening to Disney songs in the car made her want to watch Enchanted, which I'd never seen, so I joined her. Then we went to a housewarming party and then watched the Sex and the City movie.

The evening before, we had watched Keeping the Faith. I don't know if I've watched that many movies in that short of a time span since John and Dad and I hunkered down for a Planet of the Apes marathon many years ago. (They cycled around and showed the first one again at the end. Pretty clever, considering the way they go.) These were all good movies, some surprisingly so, but my head and heart were spinning--in opposite directions--because they all had to do with love, and they all had very different messages about it.

*SPOILER ALERT!* Read no further if you're not interested in learning some key plot points of these movies.

In Keeping the Faith, Rabbi Ben Stiller and Catholic priest Edward Norton both get the hots for their childhood friend, Jenna Elfman from Dharma & Greg, who comes back to town after years away. She gets with Stiller, and Norton takes it hard but ends up happy. Aww! A story in which a main character is okay without a love interest! But that character has to be a priest. Grumble. Also, Stiller is supposed to be accountable to his congregation, and religious leaders should have very high standards for all behavior. This is addressed, but briefly and after the fact. I hadn't watched it since long before this round of seminary-thinking, and it was extremely different from this new perspective. When I said, "This is really funny from a seminarian's point of view," meaning funny-odd, my friend Aaron laughed and said, "News flash: A lot of things are funny from a seminarian's point of view."

In Friends with Benefits, Justin Timberlake (surprisingly good actor!) and Mila Kunis decide to have a lot of sex with no strings attached. It goes really well, and once they get tired of each other, they happily go their separate ways. HA! No, actually they hurt each other really badly and never want to be in communication again. What? Wrong again? You mean their plan works for a while, then their feelings get in the way and they fight, then they realize they're meant for each other? But romantic comedies never go that way! This is the point where I started to feel that head-heart counterspin, rolling my eyes at the cliches but also feeling comforted by the predictability, and hurting over the wrongness of the worldly lessons but feeling the pull of their indulgent non-logic. I really enjoyed the script and characters and actors, and the credit sequence was sweet, but how many times can you be told the same lies and like it? Especially when the lies are mixed with truth. Scary stuff. Also, Jenna Elfman was in it as J-Tim's sister, and he called her Annie Banannie. In Keeping the Faith, she was Anna Banana.

Enchanted had way fewer layers than any of the others, and less material that I rejected, and more singing and animals, and more cliches. A smooth, easy ride. He's a divorce lawyer? Obviously, that means he's jaded about love and the girl is going to un-jade him. They both have other love interests? 8 times out of 10, those two end up together too. A perfect square. After the other two movies, I was happy to watch something so simple, but because I had just watched them, it was anything but. It just presented another not-entirely-true, not-entirely-false point of view.

Sex and the City was by far the most confusing of the four for me, possibly because it was the last of the weekend. They did a great job not giving away too much in the previews, which made the plot twist an actual twist: Big doesn't show up to the wedding. Then he does, but by that time Carrie is so mad it's off. Both of them, and potentially a few others, are to blame, which is realistic and nice. Also, Steve cheats on Miranda, and Miranda leaves, but they end up back together. That's the part that really blew my mind. I always thought cheating is the end, but Steve said something that made me use all my mildest monosyllables of surprise: "Geez. Whoa. Man," and the like. He said he knew he broke a vow, but what about all those other vows? The ones they both made? For better or for worse? That surely qualifies as "worse." Again, responsibility is spread among multiple parties, and nothing is clean cut. Samantha leaves Smith because she's been with him for 5 years but she's been with herself for 49, "and that's the relationship I need to work on," she said. Mostly because she wanted to get with other guys. Especially in light of the Steve-and-Miranda storyline, that was a doozy. I heart Smith and hate that she left him, but isn't it better to leave someone than to cheat if the temptation is really strong and you don't trust yourself? If those are the only two options, though, I'd say you need to find some other options, such as STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU'RE COMMITTED TO AND DON'T CHEAT. In Samantha's case, to be clear, they're not married. Oh, and Carrie goes back to Big at the end, which I had mixed feelings about but it's a movie. In Friends with Benefits and this one, there was a point near the end when I wanted it to end, when they were apart and heartbroken, post-mistakes. I know people don't go to the movies to get a dose of reality, but sometimes I crave one. "And they were both miserable for a while and never saw each other again. The end." But I suppose we get enough of that outside the theater.

The whole shebang threw me off, not that my thoughts on love-n-such were super-well-developed to start with. I appreciate the opportunity to think in different ways about it, and all of the movies were good as entertainment, just not as lessons, I guess. Some parts were good lessons but hard ones, such as forgiveness. I'm very blessed to have people to watch with, and a place to watch, and the leisure time necessary to watch 4 movies in about 26 hours. The best part is that I know where to look to (re-)learn the truth about love. So the movies, when it comes down to it, for all my verbosity and anxiety and analysis and attention, they're just for fun. A place for everything, and everything in its place.