Focus

This evening, I am writing this very late, and I am very tired. I haven't accomplished terribly much more today than I do on any other day, but I've been doing things all day. For instance, my grandfather sent me a link to an online jigsaw puzzle, and then I found out that I can do infinite numbers of puzzles. That's not really a for-instance, it's pretty much the only distraction I had today. I love and hate finding new computer games or other distractions. Love because I am amused or challenged or get to use my brain in new ways, and hate because, God, look at me. Think of how well I could have used that time instead. Think of how asleep I could be right now, how much shorter my list could be tomorrow, how much less frazzled I could be as I pack for the weekend tomorrow afternoon.

Things always turn out well for me. Somehow, the things I'm obliged to do get done, no matter how much time I spend on things no one holds me accountable for. This is very much a blessing, but I think it keeps me from reforming and saying a resounding "NO!" to these time-eaters. The best thing I can do, for now, is remind myself of the power of focus and the importance of my top priorities. I thought of this article from Utne, which is actually an excerpt from a book. It's stuck with me for months because it talks about the far-reaching effects of focus or lack thereof. I need this today, and maybe you do, too.