Oh Happy Day

One of my friends said yesterday, "I know it's been a rough week for you, but how are you doing?"

I said, "Rough week?"

She'd seen on Facebook that I'd had a couple of job rejections mid-week. By Sunday, when we had this conversation, I genuinely didn't know what she was talking about. I was on such a high from church, and Easter, and the sunshine and general state of things, that I didn't think of it as a rough week at all. The gay couple in our church had their sons baptized on Easter, at the 11:00 traditional service, when everyone would have grandparents and grandkids and other easily shocked visitors. I'm so proud of my church for having it then. A baptism is special no matter what, a baptism on Easter even more so, and those kids are a couple of the best. I missed it because I didn't know about it and went to another service, but just the thought has had me feeling good.

As far as jobs go, I've pretty much passed worry and moved to another kind of impatience, a more excited and eager kind, like Christmas Eve. I don't think the next step is going to be bad, and I don't think it won't happen, but I'm still antsy for the big reveal. Holding out in some ways still, not applying to Books-A-Million because I enjoy having my soul intact, not aiming for editorial as in author-relations, getting excited about a couple of copy editing possibilities. There's so much available, really. The geographical radius is expanding, which feels funny but OK. Because I got a big tax return, and recently was reminded that I'll get a full paycheck for May, I can actually keep looking until mid-June, I think, before I'm fully desperate. And after school's done, I can devote almost all of my time to job hunting, which means I'll be better at it, which means I'll get one sooner. So I have no reason to be worried.

Easter this year feels like Thanksgiving! I have so much to be thankful for, and so much to smile about. I went for a bike ride yesterday and sang most of the way, "Oh Happy Day" and "Joy to the World" and snippets of other joyous songs. I also read most of the September 2009 The Sun (I'm that behind) and was surprised and educated and uplifted and cried because one of the pieces was so beautiful. A few weeks ago, I was crying a lot because I was scared and kind of angry and unsure of everything. Now, I'm crying a little less but crying because I'm happy and grateful and blessed and excited. And nothing external has changed--no job, no certainty. Not sure what happened, but I'm riding this wave as long as I can. Praise Jesus, and thank you thank you thank you.