I was only out of town for about 24 hours this time, and my trip included a few minutes in West Virginia and going through mountain tunnels. The mother of the bride works with my mom, so I grew up knowing Chrissy and her twin sister, Kala, who are a year younger than me. The wedding was on their family farm at the house that Button (Chrissy & Kala's mom) built. My mom and her friends had gone a few months (years?) ago to help build the stone wall behind where they said their vows.
Mom's friends and I drank beers on the back row while the wedding went on. Kala gave Chrissy away. There was Everclear-spiked lemonade, and s'mores instead of wedding cake, and the baked potatos and the zucchini in the zucchini bread/bars came from just a few feet from where it was served in the field. The music was good, the groomsmen and groomswomen were really well coordinated with the bridesmaids, and the entire wedding party recited quotes from movies about love. The weather was very comfortable, even chilly toward the end. The whole thing was great, and everyone was happy, and love is grand. Thanks, Chrissy and Ryan, for the invitation; Button and Wendy for the hospitality; and everyone for the fun.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
And the Circle Goes Round and Round
I took my Hebrew final this morning. That means summer language school is over. That means almost everyone is going away for at least a week, and when we're all back for the fall, things will be different. There will be a lot more people that we don't know. We'll have more to do and less time to hang out. I don't feel great about this. Things are almost perfect now--better than ever--and change is not so hot when I like the way things are.
But I remember feeling basically this way when I realized I had to leave Wilmington. I had to stop and catch my breath when I thought about leaving my friends there and starting over. But look how it turned out! So I keep this in mind: change doesn't mean breaking a spell of awesomeness. It means a chance for life to get even better. Summer language, glorious though it is, is not an end in itself. It's just the beginning. As the Snakes on a Plane theme song says, "oh, I'm ready for it. C'mon, bring it."
Our class wrote a song for our professor to the tune of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." We weren't ready when he came in, so we asked him to go away and come back. As I'd predicted, the song made him cry. A fitting end to a beautiful time together.
But I remember feeling basically this way when I realized I had to leave Wilmington. I had to stop and catch my breath when I thought about leaving my friends there and starting over. But look how it turned out! So I keep this in mind: change doesn't mean breaking a spell of awesomeness. It means a chance for life to get even better. Summer language, glorious though it is, is not an end in itself. It's just the beginning. As the Snakes on a Plane theme song says, "oh, I'm ready for it. C'mon, bring it."
Our class wrote a song for our professor to the tune of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." We weren't ready when he came in, so we asked him to go away and come back. As I'd predicted, the song made him cry. A fitting end to a beautiful time together.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
A Surprise
I was just looking back through old blog posts because I'm narcissistic and don't want to study, and when I read references to Beulaville and Richlands, I actually felt nostalgic for them! Those are the towns I covered for work. This is a surprise because a) it feels SOOOOOOO much longer ago than it is. It's only been 2 months since my last day of work. And b) I kind of suspected I might love those towns but never thought it would manifest so clearly as affection so soon. Working there was grueling in certain ways, and I thought the preciousness of the people would take at least a year to overcome that in my memory. I did kinda have my eye on churches around there once I started thinkin' seminary. If I had me a hubby or some kind of friend posse, living in one of those places could be possibly maybe one day in some sense pretty sweet. This is coming from the person who foams at the mouth when New York is mentioned. Sometimes I think I should get excited about fewer things, for instance, come on, woman! Small towns or big cities, which is it? You can't love both! But then I'm like, watch me.
Speaking of friend posses, just so you know, I know exactly what I would do if I won the lottery: first, invest in a safe but relatively high-interest something while I plan. (Thanks, Mom and Dad, for teaching me right!) Then, buy a bunch of land and build sweet buildings on it, and then invite everyone I love to come and live there indefinitely. I just now thought it could also involve traveling together, hence the term "posse." Also we would go see The Book of Mormon, like, right now, because I'd suddenly be able to make that happen.
One time we were talking in Sunday School about paradise, and I think some people had it confused with "island paradise," because they kept referencing beaches and fruity drinks. But I said paradise is having everyone together. Being an adult these days means having different sets of friends; at the very least, people from childhood and people from now. At the most, those plus college friends plus work friends plus church friends plus grad school friends plus neighbors plus your kids' friends' parents plus your parents' friends' kids plus God knows who else. Hello. This usually comes in handy and keeps things stimulating, but sometimes it hurts when I realize that set A won't get much chance to meet set B even though they would loooove each other. Hence my master plan for lotto time. Everyone together. Good food, music, bonfires and s'mores every night in the summer, hot chocolate when it's cold, bike rides, art time, books, and pets. Just enjoying each other's company, breathing it in, and laughing and crying until we can't remember which we were doing first.
Speaking of friend posses, just so you know, I know exactly what I would do if I won the lottery: first, invest in a safe but relatively high-interest something while I plan. (Thanks, Mom and Dad, for teaching me right!) Then, buy a bunch of land and build sweet buildings on it, and then invite everyone I love to come and live there indefinitely. I just now thought it could also involve traveling together, hence the term "posse." Also we would go see The Book of Mormon, like, right now, because I'd suddenly be able to make that happen.
One time we were talking in Sunday School about paradise, and I think some people had it confused with "island paradise," because they kept referencing beaches and fruity drinks. But I said paradise is having everyone together. Being an adult these days means having different sets of friends; at the very least, people from childhood and people from now. At the most, those plus college friends plus work friends plus church friends plus grad school friends plus neighbors plus your kids' friends' parents plus your parents' friends' kids plus God knows who else. Hello. This usually comes in handy and keeps things stimulating, but sometimes it hurts when I realize that set A won't get much chance to meet set B even though they would loooove each other. Hence my master plan for lotto time. Everyone together. Good food, music, bonfires and s'mores every night in the summer, hot chocolate when it's cold, bike rides, art time, books, and pets. Just enjoying each other's company, breathing it in, and laughing and crying until we can't remember which we were doing first.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Movies & Me
During summer language school, the absence of one or two people can make a big difference. We had two people go out of town and several others occupied with out-of-town guests, so this weekend has been pretty laid back. Add the fact that we have no Hebrew class Monday or Tuesday, and you have a recipe for one of those aimless Saturdays in which the to-do list goes out the window. I went to a matinee of Friends with Benefits at lunchtime with friends, then I was going to Wal-Mart and one of them wanted to go with me. Listening to Disney songs in the car made her want to watch Enchanted, which I'd never seen, so I joined her. Then we went to a housewarming party and then watched the Sex and the City movie.
The evening before, we had watched Keeping the Faith. I don't know if I've watched that many movies in that short of a time span since John and Dad and I hunkered down for a Planet of the Apes marathon many years ago. (They cycled around and showed the first one again at the end. Pretty clever, considering the way they go.) These were all good movies, some surprisingly so, but my head and heart were spinning--in opposite directions--because they all had to do with love, and they all had very different messages about it.
*SPOILER ALERT!* Read no further if you're not interested in learning some key plot points of these movies.
In Keeping the Faith, Rabbi Ben Stiller and Catholic priest Edward Norton both get the hots for their childhood friend, Jenna Elfman from Dharma & Greg, who comes back to town after years away. She gets with Stiller, and Norton takes it hard but ends up happy. Aww! A story in which a main character is okay without a love interest! But that character has to be a priest. Grumble. Also, Stiller is supposed to be accountable to his congregation, and religious leaders should have very high standards for all behavior. This is addressed, but briefly and after the fact. I hadn't watched it since long before this round of seminary-thinking, and it was extremely different from this new perspective. When I said, "This is really funny from a seminarian's point of view," meaning funny-odd, my friend Aaron laughed and said, "News flash: A lot of things are funny from a seminarian's point of view."
In Friends with Benefits, Justin Timberlake (surprisingly good actor!) and Mila Kunis decide to have a lot of sex with no strings attached. It goes really well, and once they get tired of each other, they happily go their separate ways. HA! No, actually they hurt each other really badly and never want to be in communication again. What? Wrong again? You mean their plan works for a while, then their feelings get in the way and they fight, then they realize they're meant for each other? But romantic comedies never go that way! This is the point where I started to feel that head-heart counterspin, rolling my eyes at the cliches but also feeling comforted by the predictability, and hurting over the wrongness of the worldly lessons but feeling the pull of their indulgent non-logic. I really enjoyed the script and characters and actors, and the credit sequence was sweet, but how many times can you be told the same lies and like it? Especially when the lies are mixed with truth. Scary stuff. Also, Jenna Elfman was in it as J-Tim's sister, and he called her Annie Banannie. In Keeping the Faith, she was Anna Banana.
Enchanted had way fewer layers than any of the others, and less material that I rejected, and more singing and animals, and more cliches. A smooth, easy ride. He's a divorce lawyer? Obviously, that means he's jaded about love and the girl is going to un-jade him. They both have other love interests? 8 times out of 10, those two end up together too. A perfect square. After the other two movies, I was happy to watch something so simple, but because I had just watched them, it was anything but. It just presented another not-entirely-true, not-entirely-false point of view.
Sex and the City was by far the most confusing of the four for me, possibly because it was the last of the weekend. They did a great job not giving away too much in the previews, which made the plot twist an actual twist: Big doesn't show up to the wedding. Then he does, but by that time Carrie is so mad it's off. Both of them, and potentially a few others, are to blame, which is realistic and nice. Also, Steve cheats on Miranda, and Miranda leaves, but they end up back together. That's the part that really blew my mind. I always thought cheating is the end, but Steve said something that made me use all my mildest monosyllables of surprise: "Geez. Whoa. Man," and the like. He said he knew he broke a vow, but what about all those other vows? The ones they both made? For better or for worse? That surely qualifies as "worse." Again, responsibility is spread among multiple parties, and nothing is clean cut. Samantha leaves Smith because she's been with him for 5 years but she's been with herself for 49, "and that's the relationship I need to work on," she said. Mostly because she wanted to get with other guys. Especially in light of the Steve-and-Miranda storyline, that was a doozy. I heart Smith and hate that she left him, but isn't it better to leave someone than to cheat if the temptation is really strong and you don't trust yourself? If those are the only two options, though, I'd say you need to find some other options, such as STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU'RE COMMITTED TO AND DON'T CHEAT. In Samantha's case, to be clear, they're not married. Oh, and Carrie goes back to Big at the end, which I had mixed feelings about but it's a movie. In Friends with Benefits and this one, there was a point near the end when I wanted it to end, when they were apart and heartbroken, post-mistakes. I know people don't go to the movies to get a dose of reality, but sometimes I crave one. "And they were both miserable for a while and never saw each other again. The end." But I suppose we get enough of that outside the theater.
The whole shebang threw me off, not that my thoughts on love-n-such were super-well-developed to start with. I appreciate the opportunity to think in different ways about it, and all of the movies were good as entertainment, just not as lessons, I guess. Some parts were good lessons but hard ones, such as forgiveness. I'm very blessed to have people to watch with, and a place to watch, and the leisure time necessary to watch 4 movies in about 26 hours. The best part is that I know where to look to (re-)learn the truth about love. So the movies, when it comes down to it, for all my verbosity and anxiety and analysis and attention, they're just for fun. A place for everything, and everything in its place.
The evening before, we had watched Keeping the Faith. I don't know if I've watched that many movies in that short of a time span since John and Dad and I hunkered down for a Planet of the Apes marathon many years ago. (They cycled around and showed the first one again at the end. Pretty clever, considering the way they go.) These were all good movies, some surprisingly so, but my head and heart were spinning--in opposite directions--because they all had to do with love, and they all had very different messages about it.
*SPOILER ALERT!* Read no further if you're not interested in learning some key plot points of these movies.
In Keeping the Faith, Rabbi Ben Stiller and Catholic priest Edward Norton both get the hots for their childhood friend, Jenna Elfman from Dharma & Greg, who comes back to town after years away. She gets with Stiller, and Norton takes it hard but ends up happy. Aww! A story in which a main character is okay without a love interest! But that character has to be a priest. Grumble. Also, Stiller is supposed to be accountable to his congregation, and religious leaders should have very high standards for all behavior. This is addressed, but briefly and after the fact. I hadn't watched it since long before this round of seminary-thinking, and it was extremely different from this new perspective. When I said, "This is really funny from a seminarian's point of view," meaning funny-odd, my friend Aaron laughed and said, "News flash: A lot of things are funny from a seminarian's point of view."
In Friends with Benefits, Justin Timberlake (surprisingly good actor!) and Mila Kunis decide to have a lot of sex with no strings attached. It goes really well, and once they get tired of each other, they happily go their separate ways. HA! No, actually they hurt each other really badly and never want to be in communication again. What? Wrong again? You mean their plan works for a while, then their feelings get in the way and they fight, then they realize they're meant for each other? But romantic comedies never go that way! This is the point where I started to feel that head-heart counterspin, rolling my eyes at the cliches but also feeling comforted by the predictability, and hurting over the wrongness of the worldly lessons but feeling the pull of their indulgent non-logic. I really enjoyed the script and characters and actors, and the credit sequence was sweet, but how many times can you be told the same lies and like it? Especially when the lies are mixed with truth. Scary stuff. Also, Jenna Elfman was in it as J-Tim's sister, and he called her Annie Banannie. In Keeping the Faith, she was Anna Banana.
Enchanted had way fewer layers than any of the others, and less material that I rejected, and more singing and animals, and more cliches. A smooth, easy ride. He's a divorce lawyer? Obviously, that means he's jaded about love and the girl is going to un-jade him. They both have other love interests? 8 times out of 10, those two end up together too. A perfect square. After the other two movies, I was happy to watch something so simple, but because I had just watched them, it was anything but. It just presented another not-entirely-true, not-entirely-false point of view.
Sex and the City was by far the most confusing of the four for me, possibly because it was the last of the weekend. They did a great job not giving away too much in the previews, which made the plot twist an actual twist: Big doesn't show up to the wedding. Then he does, but by that time Carrie is so mad it's off. Both of them, and potentially a few others, are to blame, which is realistic and nice. Also, Steve cheats on Miranda, and Miranda leaves, but they end up back together. That's the part that really blew my mind. I always thought cheating is the end, but Steve said something that made me use all my mildest monosyllables of surprise: "Geez. Whoa. Man," and the like. He said he knew he broke a vow, but what about all those other vows? The ones they both made? For better or for worse? That surely qualifies as "worse." Again, responsibility is spread among multiple parties, and nothing is clean cut. Samantha leaves Smith because she's been with him for 5 years but she's been with herself for 49, "and that's the relationship I need to work on," she said. Mostly because she wanted to get with other guys. Especially in light of the Steve-and-Miranda storyline, that was a doozy. I heart Smith and hate that she left him, but isn't it better to leave someone than to cheat if the temptation is really strong and you don't trust yourself? If those are the only two options, though, I'd say you need to find some other options, such as STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU'RE COMMITTED TO AND DON'T CHEAT. In Samantha's case, to be clear, they're not married. Oh, and Carrie goes back to Big at the end, which I had mixed feelings about but it's a movie. In Friends with Benefits and this one, there was a point near the end when I wanted it to end, when they were apart and heartbroken, post-mistakes. I know people don't go to the movies to get a dose of reality, but sometimes I crave one. "And they were both miserable for a while and never saw each other again. The end." But I suppose we get enough of that outside the theater.
The whole shebang threw me off, not that my thoughts on love-n-such were super-well-developed to start with. I appreciate the opportunity to think in different ways about it, and all of the movies were good as entertainment, just not as lessons, I guess. Some parts were good lessons but hard ones, such as forgiveness. I'm very blessed to have people to watch with, and a place to watch, and the leisure time necessary to watch 4 movies in about 26 hours. The best part is that I know where to look to (re-)learn the truth about love. So the movies, when it comes down to it, for all my verbosity and anxiety and analysis and attention, they're just for fun. A place for everything, and everything in its place.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Wedding Report #2: Laura & Javier
I left Richmond just after class on Friday afternoon and caught a ride to the airport with some generous friends who were on their way out of town. Got some quality flash-card time in the airport before leaving. A connection too short to speak of in Atlanta, and before I knew it I was in Houston. It turned out the two people I was meeting, other friends of the bride, both had long delays, so I hung out with The Member of the Wedding, my journal, and the flash cards from about 6:30 til almost ten. The two delayed ones were very apologetic, but it was quite nice to sit undisturbed, with plenty of people to watch, none who had any demands on me and none I wanted to impress. The book was good--I guess I'm a fan of Southern gothic without knowing it until now.
I came up with a new career idea: airport chaplain. I found out later in the trip that this does exist. As Mom said when I told her, it's perfect because I wouldn't have to form any lasting relationships. "Yeah, you get to help people without anyone critiquing your sermon or the seating arrangement or anything," I said. Half-jokes aside, it would be a very neat opportunity. I've been noticing a lot of changes in myself lately, which I suppose is a by-product of a geographic and life-stage move. One of them became evident when I was people-watching in Houston: I've always liked to watch people, but it used to be because I was interested in them or curious about them. I still am, but now I also love them. A lot. All of them.
New Friend #1 got in just before ten, then #2 came from Houston's other airport after midnight, and we got to the house we were staying at after 2 a.m. On Saturday, we left just after lunchtime to find our hotel and change clothes before the 3:00 wedding. Everything happened in both Spanish and English because the groom is from Mexico, and the church was really pretty and the couple was really pretty and there was great rejoicing.
At the reception, I got to catch up with a few old Davidson friends and meet a few new ones, learn a new dance that involves a napkin, and enjoy great food and drink and the precious people at our table. Toasts and other announcements were bilingual there too. A few people went out afterward since it was only 8:00, and Laura in her wedding dress got congratulations from strangers, as all brides should.
On Sunday morning, from our patio table at brunch, we watched some unfamiliar birds swarm a recently-vacated table and scavenge the food. We went back to Laura and Javier's apartment, where we looked at pictures and they opened a few gifts. We went to the Art Car Museum, which was scary like many museums are for me and fun and funny like more museums should be. I went to the market and the bakery with Laura, and we looked at her Enneagram book and Amy Sedaris's I Like You and geography games online inspired by their world-map shower curtain. I started reading The Invention of Hugo Cabret, and we had French food for dinner and then bubble tea and an outdoor showing of Othello, which I had taught but still didn't follow. The grass was clipped very short, and there was a well-behaved corgi in front of us, and I couldn't tell the characters apart, and it didn't matter. We talked about patriotism and national holidays and how on Mexican independence day the mayor of each town goes out at midnight shouting "Viva Mexico!" and everyone shouts back.
Monday, I ate a really good cream-cheese empanada and we were off. During my long layover in Atlanta, a French family sat down next to me and stayed long enough that I worked up the courage to talk to them in French. The aunt/sister is a CPA in Richmond, has been for ten years. I had forgotten how quietly French people can talk. Sitting across from them, I heard their conversation as little but a soothing murmur. When I got home, I signed up for the Richmond French Meetup Group, yet another joy of being in a big city.
The rest of the trip was uneventful and delightful. Yet another kind and generous friend picked me up, and I had Facebook messages saying people had missed me, and hugs in real life, and a lot to catch up on even though it had only been three days. What a great blessing, to go see something beautiful and new and then come home to warmth and love.
I came up with a new career idea: airport chaplain. I found out later in the trip that this does exist. As Mom said when I told her, it's perfect because I wouldn't have to form any lasting relationships. "Yeah, you get to help people without anyone critiquing your sermon or the seating arrangement or anything," I said. Half-jokes aside, it would be a very neat opportunity. I've been noticing a lot of changes in myself lately, which I suppose is a by-product of a geographic and life-stage move. One of them became evident when I was people-watching in Houston: I've always liked to watch people, but it used to be because I was interested in them or curious about them. I still am, but now I also love them. A lot. All of them.
New Friend #1 got in just before ten, then #2 came from Houston's other airport after midnight, and we got to the house we were staying at after 2 a.m. On Saturday, we left just after lunchtime to find our hotel and change clothes before the 3:00 wedding. Everything happened in both Spanish and English because the groom is from Mexico, and the church was really pretty and the couple was really pretty and there was great rejoicing.
At the reception, I got to catch up with a few old Davidson friends and meet a few new ones, learn a new dance that involves a napkin, and enjoy great food and drink and the precious people at our table. Toasts and other announcements were bilingual there too. A few people went out afterward since it was only 8:00, and Laura in her wedding dress got congratulations from strangers, as all brides should.
On Sunday morning, from our patio table at brunch, we watched some unfamiliar birds swarm a recently-vacated table and scavenge the food. We went back to Laura and Javier's apartment, where we looked at pictures and they opened a few gifts. We went to the Art Car Museum, which was scary like many museums are for me and fun and funny like more museums should be. I went to the market and the bakery with Laura, and we looked at her Enneagram book and Amy Sedaris's I Like You and geography games online inspired by their world-map shower curtain. I started reading The Invention of Hugo Cabret, and we had French food for dinner and then bubble tea and an outdoor showing of Othello, which I had taught but still didn't follow. The grass was clipped very short, and there was a well-behaved corgi in front of us, and I couldn't tell the characters apart, and it didn't matter. We talked about patriotism and national holidays and how on Mexican independence day the mayor of each town goes out at midnight shouting "Viva Mexico!" and everyone shouts back.
Monday, I ate a really good cream-cheese empanada and we were off. During my long layover in Atlanta, a French family sat down next to me and stayed long enough that I worked up the courage to talk to them in French. The aunt/sister is a CPA in Richmond, has been for ten years. I had forgotten how quietly French people can talk. Sitting across from them, I heard their conversation as little but a soothing murmur. When I got home, I signed up for the Richmond French Meetup Group, yet another joy of being in a big city.
The rest of the trip was uneventful and delightful. Yet another kind and generous friend picked me up, and I had Facebook messages saying people had missed me, and hugs in real life, and a lot to catch up on even though it had only been three days. What a great blessing, to go see something beautiful and new and then come home to warmth and love.
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